Lettin' Go The Past...

Assalamualikum dearest.. 

My past.. *sigh. i hate to talk bout this.. but, this time, i have to let it go. i just wanna share some of my story.. i hate my exes... like seriously... but.. for what they've done to me.. they turn me into a stronger woman.. 

Dear Mr. Cold-hearted... i call him by this cause he never shows his true feeling towards me... once, i thought he's the sweetest guy i ever knew.. kami berkenalan time Darjah 6 when he went to my school for the UPSR programme.. he represented his school at that time.. he's quite popular among the girls... i'm really not attracted to him, cause time tu saya tida mau couple2.. after 2 years, saya jumpa dia balik.. he's one of my cuzzie's classmate.. kami berlainan sekolah but still masih satu daerah... like always, just because he's handsome, so he's quite popular di sekolah tu..one day, he ask my number from my cuzzie.. start dari tu, kami selalu berhubung... texting.. calling.. masa tu saya baru habis pmr. then form 4, i went to MRSM tawau, he went to SMT Likas. terpisah sekejap.. lost contact. cause ada salah faham.. he dont want to disturb me. after habis SPM baru dia akan cari saya balik.. he did. we both got flying colors dalam result SPM. dapat tawaran sama2 di UTeM. dia try pujuk saya. but saya ttp jg mau di matrix. tarikh declare : 15 July 2010.. then on 19 December 2010, we break up.. dia tida bagitau sebab. he just left me macam tu ja. idk why.. but i really curious mau tau.. until now, masih jadi tnda tnya. He block me on fb. langsung lost contact.. dia mcm benci sgt dgn saya... 

Dear Mr Flirter+Player, saya panggil dia gini sbb perangai dia... kenal dari fb, that time i really broken-hearted. so sgt2 mudah untuk jatuh hati dgn org y really2 care bout me.. tp he lies to me.. actually dia cuma mau test2 seja. and i'm so fool to believe that he really loves me.. declare on 10 January 2011. byk kali gaduh sbb bnda2 kecil. but one thing for sure, y buat saya betul2 percaya dia sayang saya, when the time i have the toughest part of my life, when my grandma passed away, he's the one who supported me.. every night he calls me, to check up my condition.. he don't want me to keep crying for what had happened. He said, "whenever you feel sad, if you miss your grandma and you need someone, call me, i'll be there for you when you need me, you'll always have me".. itu y buat saya sgt2 terharu.. :'( even dia ada kelas esok pagi jam 8, bila saya call dia jam 3,4 pagi sbb i miss my grandma && i wanna cry, he never claimed apa2.. dia tidak marah2. he will calm me. buat saya rasa safe. buat saya rasa tenang. bila fikir balik, even sejahat mana pun y dia bt dkt saya, tapi saya maafkan dia.. sbb apa y dia sdh bt ni, buat saya terharu. He always be there when i need him. then a week after my grandma meninggal, smngt saya okey suda, we break up. Reason, sbb dia ada prmpn lain. but 2 month after that, he want me back. semua kembali pada asal. unfortunately, 2 bulan seja kami bertahan. He still love his ex-gf time form 6 dulu.. i let him go. cause i know, kami mmg tiada jodoh && i'm really fade-up with all the thingy he did to me.. 

&& Now, i got my TRUE love.. even kami kerap gaduh tapi i know, as long as he loves me, i also love him too. no matter how bad he treat me, i just cant let him go. same like him, no matter how mad i am to him, he never let me go.. i always pray that he'll be my last one. i'll love you with all my heart Muhammad Hisyamuddin bin Hilmy Hamid. :') thanks for entering my life. 

xoxo, Me.

Tears are word that unspoken

Assalamualaikum... 

just open my blog today... quite early huh? well, something did happened to me a night before.. well, that's a sad story.. maybe? maybe it's only for me... we're almost to celebrate our first anniversary but things seems not work so good for us right now.. idk why... maybe i'm too jelly or maybe he's not giving me too much affection, idk. *sigh

you know what? sometimes, a little thing you do could break a girl's heart. :'( just so you know, i'm really hurt when the time i try to defend you but you blame me. it hurts me so much. you don't know what are the things i have sacrifice just for you... :'( you ask them to block me. yea, she did. what's the rational? to show that i'm the bad one? :'( 

after almost 10 months we have been together and now, i just think that i don't know you yet. and i'm so upset with myself. maybe i'm not the good one for you. maybe i'm not good enough for you. or it just maybe. :'(  idk. right know, i'm really confuse with myself. but, even how bad you treat me, i just can't let you go and i'm stay with you. reason? cause i love you so much. :'( 

but i feel bad to ur bestie and her girlfie.. i never want to offense them. i never hate them, it's just misunderstanding. and i'm trully sorry if i did harsh them with my words. i just hope you never gonna make me hurt too much again. but, yea... actually i'm pretty use to it. my ex did it before. i'm hurt too much. and smiles are the best make-up that girls can wear. no one know bout my past story. i never tell my friends about what worst thing had happened to me. i'm really not the one who can share anything towards people. personal story i mean. && you didn't know my whole story yet. 

i know we're okay for now. but, i'm still hurt. and i hope i can forget the things you'd told/text me that night. tears fallin', i did stupid things.. i never regret what i've done. cause the hurt you give is moreee pain that what i've done to myself. 

cherish her, give affection to her, make her think that she's the one that all you need in this world. u'll catch a girl's heart. and she'll be yours forever.

never hurt your love one.

yes, i still love you. no matter how hard i cry

treat your girl well

sorry for all my harsh words. 

xoxo, me. :'(

I Miss Her.

Assalamualaikum.. 

firstly, i wish you guys could help me by recite Al-fatihah to my late grandma.. *semoga dia di tempatkan di kalangan orang-orang yang beriman.

it's been a year ++ grandma had passed away.. I still remember how she scold us, love us, how she treat us as her grandchildren. No one can replace her.. i just miss her.. seriously... :( She'd leave us on 28th February 2011... it's very meaningful date.. on 28th February she passed away but then i finally meet my soulmate and his birthday is on 28th February... Yea, it's a sad case.. during his birthday this year(2012) i dunno what to do.. cause, actually i'm a bit sad and i always remember the memoir of my grandma.. so, to Hisyam... i'm very sorry if i don't give you a super special birthday suprise like what u'd expected.. actually, i'm trying to control my emotion during the day.. 

I still miss how she cook a breakfast for me, what usually she doing during the day.. and luckily i have a chance to take care of her when she sick. But, sad case is, i'm not be able to be by her side before she leave us forever.. i was in matrix and get ready for my mid-term exam... at 4.30 pm, i received a call from my sis and she told me "grandma had passed away". She's crying when she told me that. and i know it was hard for her to say it.. when i flashback all the memories, the last time i saw my grandma was when i'm having my chinese new year holiday. when the time i'd to go,  when i saw her eyes, by the look of her eyes... i'm worried.. i worry that it was the last time i could see those eyes.. and maybe i haven't a chance to see it again.. i said to my mom, i don't want to go back to Labuan, i want to stay to take care of her.. 

i was so fragile at that time, but yea, i faced it.. a week after my grandma passed away, my boyfie(which is now my ex) left me for other girl.. and i was like... =.= why?? why me??? why did God give me this??? but at the end, i'm really grateful.. sangat bersyukur. Tuhan beri ujian towards us to make us become more grateful to Him. && Tuhan tidak akan beri ujian yang tidak mampu untuk kita hadapi.. i faced it and it made me tough and strong... 

dan selepas all this stuff happens, i got my spa. dapat tawaran, && actually this is what my grandma always wish for me.. to get a job first and involved in this. Dia lebih suka saya involved di bidang kesihatan. mungkin ada hikmah behind this kan??? who knows??? God have plans. and we all have the go through it and take the chances. So people, be grateful for what we have. Face the obstacle and for sure it will make you more stronger one fine day. :)

What's up with the Name?

Hi there darlings... 

So, this time i'm gonna talk bout Name.. *essehhh.. speaking kunun. straight forward la kan. Actually saya mau cakap pasal nama. Nama baahh... ya! Nama. Nama yang bapa saya bagi to me is Adila Nuryein. so what's up with my name? Ada orang panggil saya Adila, itu common la. common for people to call us with our first name kan? Biasanya people yang call me "Adila" orang-orang yang tidak berapa kenal saya.. or people yang not close to me la lebih kurang. 2nd is Dila. Well, sangat rare la mau dengar people call me with this name. but.. but.. Hisyam suka panggil saya dengan nama ni instead of "sayang", "dear". heh.. :p *sila muntah* and sometimes kawan-kawan dia akan panggil saya dengan nama tu.. actually, sedap juga dengar nama tu. 3rd is Ila. yang ni pun memang rarely mau dengar orang panggil saya macam ni. Well, for truth pernah sekali ja orang panggil saya Ila.. :p tapi, tida payah la saya mention sepa kay? *it's a secret.. shhhhh... 

4th is Nuryein/Nur. and i'm like, seriously??? Nur?? Nuryein??? whooooohooooo... Pelik.. haha! Rare tahap gaban. Sekali ja pernah dengar orang panggil mcm ni. tu pun guru time sekolah rendah. but he's joking actually. 

&& lastly... my favorite, ----> YEIN/YEN... people out there yang very close to me sure akan panggil saya dengan nama ni. orang yang betul-betul kenal kay? && memang senang mau kenal pasti orang-orang yang rapat dengan saya atau tidak.. by the way they call my name suda tau. :) 

Actually my dad bagi saya nama ni ada maksud dia sendiri.. Adila from the Arabic word Adil. Which means Adil/Fair. perhaps i'm gonna be a fair person inside and out kan? InsyaAllah.. Nur also from the Arabic Word which means Cahaya/Light. and lastly Yein/Yin. my dad got this word from the chinese word. i don't really know what it's means but by what i understand bout it, sebenarnya it comes from the word Yin Yang. Yin more to coldness. pasal balance-balance and that stuff, i don't really care actually. tapi satu lagi maksud YEIN/YEN is matawang Jepun. Haha! :D Apa-Apapun, i love my name. and in future saya mau kasi nama my children semua start from A. heeee... supaya senang. Like me!

&& also, antara bestie saya selama 20 tahun saya hidup ni ada 2 orang nama yang hampir-hampir sama like me. Nama dia Yan, mau kenal dia?? tekan SINI, heeee... orang ranau, room-mate time di MRSM tawau. She's a nice girl. kamu-kamu jangan kacau dia aaa?? >,< 2nd person is Yeen, atau saya panggil dia Jureen... mau kenal dia juga?? click THIS. naaaa... dua-dua bebeh. kamu stalk-stalk la dorang kay? :p 

So fellows, stay beautiful.. :)) xoxo, Yein.

Late Night Talk

Assalamualaikum and hi there fellows... 

Lama suda tida merepek tengah-tengah malam.. i have no idea kenapa saya belum tidur lagi. heh... just feel excited sebab i've got a new look for my blog! yeay! :))) 

well.... bila sendiri-sendiri and u got nothing to do, time tu la baru teringat orang-orang yang rapat dengan kita aight? seriously, i miss them... Semua-semua yang saya sayang.. include my friends & HIM(Hisyam)...&& my holiday is going to the end sudaa.. :((( 1st July kena balik kolej. Sad case :: kasi tinggal rumah and tida dapat main dengan my lovely Atif.. Great case :: dapat jumpa bebeh-bebeh saya balik... saya sayang dorang... && actually, i'm feeling dizzy after 3 hours non-stop berdepan dgn lappy untuk kasi siap renovate blog ni.. walaupun dia buruk sikit but i'm satisfied man.. selepas beberapa perubahan yang saya buat finally ini la hasilnya... later on i'm trying to make a tutorial for people out there.. *kalau rajin laaa.. once saya ingat mau buat template mcm facebook.. u know? it quite popular kan sekarang ni? tapi, too lame and boring.. >.< tida kekal lama tu.. after a year saya guna maybe saya mau buang suda tu template.. 

so, i'm just jot down a simple post*untuk memenuhkan syarat sejaa*.. tida payah la panjang-panjang cause bukan ramai pun orang mau baca.. :p until then, fellows... May God Bless Us.. 

After A lil' While

so, it's been a while saya x update blog... quite busy jadi babysitter *sigh* but.. but... i'm fall in love to the lil' one... Aqeel, my new love... maigaddd.. he's been cute and cuter each day. *sory for my bad english* haha! 

sumthing happens  a week ago, time saya posting di Pitas, well... my mom kerja pagi, my dad also pagi, my lil' sis pegi skolah pagi, saya pula praktikal d klinik dari jam 8 pagi smpai jam 1.. so teda orang yang mau masak mamam d rumah.. after jam 1, suma kami balik, kami singgah di kedai makan untuk lunch.. && ada satu hari tuuu, sorang pacik ni sangat2 pity wooo. :((( dia lapar and condition dia sangat2 kesian... dia duduk d meja yang ada customer tuu && pandangan mata dia tu, bila saya tgk mcm mau nangis... he's waiting for the guy(customer) yang tengah makan tu and after dia sudah habis makan, masih ada sisa... tu pacik pegi makan sisa makanan customer td.. saya mau nangis time tuu.... few minutes after that, ada sorang waiter ni nampak uncle tu, trus dia suruh tu uncle tgu.. u know what he did??? dia masuk dalam ambil piring, ambil nasi, bagi uncle tu 3 jenis lauk ( ayam, ikan, sayur ) then, i'm just like... whoaaaa... (*-*) speechless... i ask tu abang yang bagi, does uncle tu selalu datang sini.. then abang tu cakap, yea, dia selalu datang && dorang akan bagi dia makanan free... saya terharu... sangat-sangat.. (TT__TT)

saya tida sangka masih ada orang yang sangat prihatin sama orang2 yang kurang bernasib baik mcm uncle tuuu... saya doakan pemilik kedai makan tu & pekerja2 dia di murahkan rezeki & panjang umur, sihat selalu.. so, people... there's a lot of things happens in this world that we should learn either from environment, events that happens around us.. Allah itu Maha Adil, setiap apa yang kita buat memang di catit... and banyakkan sedekah.. Allah akan balas lebih banyak dari apa yang kita sedekahkan. Wallahu'alam.. InsyaAllah, segala amal kebaikan yang kita buat di terima. && most of all be grateful for what we have... ada orang lain yang lebih susah dari kita.. contohnya, saudara-saudara di palestin. so, kita doakan mereka di sana diberi rahmat and dibebaskan dari seksa zionis.. :(( 

&& saya happy sebab ada suda kawan-kawan saya start blogging thingy.. yeay! makin rmai la saya follow.. so, sepa2 mau minta follow just drop ur link to my comment atau d chatbox sana kay? nanti saya ada masa saya cek and i'll follow you.. 

so, lots of love to you people. chiawwww.. 

Saya Benci Ketidakadilan

Assalamualaikum ... :) 

first of all i wanna tell you guys, i'm not a hardcore fans of football kay? saya tengok sekadar suka-suka.. memang saya tidak kenal pun sepa-sepa pemain-pemain dia ( just a few seja yang saya kenal ) so... don't expect i'm miss know it all kay.. :) thanks.

so, sepa-sepa yang ada tengok bola td Malaysia vs Singapore sure u guyss rasaa sangat-sangat geram with the f*ck damn referee aight?? yaa.. yaa.. saya tau dia ada kursus and ada lesen jadi pengadil dibandingkan dengan saya yang tidak tau apa-apa pasal bola.. tapikan, don't u guys think he's a muchhh munchierr too unfair to the game td??? saya panas woooo... seriously, mcm mau umban dia guna telur+sos cili+mayo+air garam... >< i'm mad broooo.. 

Kenapa? kenapa? Kenapa boleh-boleh dapat free kick selepas Khairul Fahmi savekan penalti tuu?? isshhh.... >< dan saya panas when the time pemain Singapore baru kena ckit tgn ka kaki ka, kepala ka trus cepat-cepat dia tiup wisel baaa... tp at the time Safee Sali injured di padang(kejang otot kali) and he really looks tortured ba.. sampai terbaring then tu pengadil tidak kasi berhenti perlawanan. boleh-boleh dia teruskan and turun pegi kawasan gol Malaysia.. ishhh.. it's not FAIR!!! u knoww... bukan sebab saya fanatik towards my country tapi pleaseeee.. behave yourself mannnnn~ sampai saya boleh tuduh tu pengadil makan rasuah wooo.. 

and hari ni ada game Poland vs Greece kalau tida silap, but i'm really off of mood to watch Euro gara-gara td.. >< 

but when i think back, sometimes in real life that's how we live actually.. banyak ketidakadilan berlaku sini-sana... and most of people just sit back and watch it in front of them without takin' any action. Reason?? tepuk dada tanya selera la kan? Sometimes, kita rasa takut and we think if we take some action pun, does it stop them? does it could change anythin'? but, a simple action could change the world.. so, lets teach the new generation to be fair with themselves and they will be fair too towards people out there.. 

So, Fellows... enjoy the game... :)