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Friday, June 29, 2012

Lettin' Go The Past...

Assalamualikum dearest.. 

My past.. *sigh. i hate to talk bout this.. but, this time, i have to let it go. i just wanna share some of my story.. i hate my exes... like seriously... but.. for what they've done to me.. they turn me into a stronger woman.. 

Dear Mr. Cold-hearted... i call him by this cause he never shows his true feeling towards me... once, i thought he's the sweetest guy i ever knew.. kami berkenalan time Darjah 6 when he went to my school for the UPSR programme.. he represented his school at that time.. he's quite popular among the girls... i'm really not attracted to him, cause time tu saya tida mau couple2.. after 2 years, saya jumpa dia balik.. he's one of my cuzzie's classmate.. kami berlainan sekolah but still masih satu daerah... like always, just because he's handsome, so he's quite popular di sekolah day, he ask my number from my cuzzie.. start dari tu, kami selalu berhubung... texting.. calling.. masa tu saya baru habis pmr. then form 4, i went to MRSM tawau, he went to SMT Likas. terpisah sekejap.. lost contact. cause ada salah faham.. he dont want to disturb me. after habis SPM baru dia akan cari saya balik.. he did. we both got flying colors dalam result SPM. dapat tawaran sama2 di UTeM. dia try pujuk saya. but saya ttp jg mau di matrix. tarikh declare : 15 July 2010.. then on 19 December 2010, we break up.. dia tida bagitau sebab. he just left me macam tu ja. idk why.. but i really curious mau tau.. until now, masih jadi tnda tnya. He block me on fb. langsung lost contact.. dia mcm benci sgt dgn saya... 

Dear Mr Flirter+Player, saya panggil dia gini sbb perangai dia... kenal dari fb, that time i really broken-hearted. so sgt2 mudah untuk jatuh hati dgn org y really2 care bout me.. tp he lies to me.. actually dia cuma mau test2 seja. and i'm so fool to believe that he really loves me.. declare on 10 January 2011. byk kali gaduh sbb bnda2 kecil. but one thing for sure, y buat saya betul2 percaya dia sayang saya, when the time i have the toughest part of my life, when my grandma passed away, he's the one who supported me.. every night he calls me, to check up my condition.. he don't want me to keep crying for what had happened. He said, "whenever you feel sad, if you miss your grandma and you need someone, call me, i'll be there for you when you need me, you'll always have me".. itu y buat saya sgt2 terharu.. :'( even dia ada kelas esok pagi jam 8, bila saya call dia jam 3,4 pagi sbb i miss my grandma && i wanna cry, he never claimed apa2.. dia tidak marah2. he will calm me. buat saya rasa safe. buat saya rasa tenang. bila fikir balik, even sejahat mana pun y dia bt dkt saya, tapi saya maafkan dia.. sbb apa y dia sdh bt ni, buat saya terharu. He always be there when i need him. then a week after my grandma meninggal, smngt saya okey suda, we break up. Reason, sbb dia ada prmpn lain. but 2 month after that, he want me back. semua kembali pada asal. unfortunately, 2 bulan seja kami bertahan. He still love his ex-gf time form 6 dulu.. i let him go. cause i know, kami mmg tiada jodoh && i'm really fade-up with all the thingy he did to me.. 

&& Now, i got my TRUE love.. even kami kerap gaduh tapi i know, as long as he loves me, i also love him too. no matter how bad he treat me, i just cant let him go. same like him, no matter how mad i am to him, he never let me go.. i always pray that he'll be my last one. i'll love you with all my heart Muhammad Hisyamuddin bin Hilmy Hamid. :') thanks for entering my life. 

xoxo, Me.

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